What to wear... The Story of a Doc Wearing Fiend

OK, so I admit it, sometimes you will catch me watching How Do I Look on the Style Network. I enjoy it, but every time I watch it I have all kinds of conflicting feelings about the show. I mean, I enjoy seeing all these "ugly ducklings" transform into swans, and yet part of me screams in outrage over the fact that this show has once again bludgeoned a once unique individual into conformity.

I often wonder which is better. On one hand, they kind of want the make over. That really is not the question. The question is why they want the makeover. Are they stuck in some kind of fashion rut and know it, or do they feel pressured by those around them to tone down what society cannot handle, someone who does not meld with the herd.

I myself have this issue all the time. People constantly telling me, "your clothes are too big, you need smaller clothes!" Truthfully, why can't they mind their own business. There is a reason my clothes are in various states of fit. My weight fluctuates, therefore causes me to buy new clothes, then need the old ones again when I gain some back. It is not a situation I am totally pleased with, but if my comfort is hurting your eyes, well tough noogies. I am more concerned with the issue behind the ever changing size than whether or not my wardrobe meets with your boxed in view of fashion. Sorry, off on a rant there. Did not mean to veer off the path (Yet that is somehow appropriate for this blog entry).

On Sunday I went to the mall to enjoy some of the Birthday gift cards I received (Yay me). Normally I would look everything over before committing to a purchase, but that did not happen this time. I somehow ended up in the Brass Plum in Nordstrom, like I am a 15 year old girl. There it was, across a not so crowded room. They called to me, and I whimpered back.

Hanging from the sales rack was a solitary hot pink patent something Dr. Martin (the fabric was synthetic, but not certain what). That 15 year old girl in me started to sing. I looked at the lonely shoe, missing his sister who was being held hostage in the stock room, and knew these shoes were mine.

I thought over and over again, people will laugh at me. Docs are so Grunge scene, but I did not care. I love them! I LOVE Docs, so there Style Network. I refuse to be boxed into a homogenized wardrobe so I fit in your test tube little world. I buy not that it will somehow make me a better person, just a more malleable one.

Now when I watch How Do I Look, all I feel is kind of sad. What was once a person that was a unique stamp on the world, has now been blended like charcoal pencil or pastels, and can no longer be distinguished from the other marks on the canvas.

I, for one, plan to always wear my hot pink Docs...

Time and Space

OK, this is just a thought that has been swirling around in my head the last week, sorry for inflicting it upon you my humble readers.

You know how you can technically be aware of a fact, but never really think about what it means? One day, as you are falling to sleep, it hits you, and it feels so profound. Of course, when you tell someone, they look at you like "Hello? Is your village missing their idiot?"

I have discovered there is a difference between knowing a fact, and really understanding this fact. Most people would say they understand certain facts, but in reality, they never feel them, visualize them. When this happens, something that you knew becomes so real to you. For those who do not get my meaning, I am sorry. I am often told I could use an interpreter.

The other night, as I was falling asleep, of course, the idea of time being a human contruct finally really sunk in. Time as we know it is as real as daylight savings time. There actually may be a real time out there, but we are not following those rules. For example, time zones. It is 3 hours earlier in California, but it really isn't. To the earth, the time is exactly the same regardless of the position of the sun. This is simply how we percieve day and night. If we were to judge time fairly, we would have to alter what time means in each timezone. For example, where the sun is positioned in California would not dictate the time there. When it is 8pm here on the east coast, it may be dark, but there 8pm would always be some degree of sunny. That is REAL time.

I have always said we shape our realities based on our perceptions, this only fortifies my belief of that. OK, I am done. I should go back to my village now, they miss me.

Prop 8

Let me tell you, nothing gets my blood boiling faster that a debate on gay marriage. I have a husband of the male persuasion, but the very thought that we let a single religious belief dictate the rights of American citizens just infuriates me more than I can say.

Some might say that my last statement is incorrect, that it is morality that fuels their fight, but that is misleading and not even a good cover. The fact is, if you sat these people down in a court of law, and interrogated them about this statement of beliefs, you would find the Bible at the root of it. There is no other place that teaches this kind of hatred and intolerance. It is not the Government's place to decide our morals for us. Laws are created to ensure the people are protected, and allowing GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered) individuals the right to marry, so they can enjoy the same rights as married individuals, does not infringe on the rights of straight population.

Last I checked, (To quote Wikipedia) the First Amendment to the United States Constitution is the part of the United States Bill of Rights that expressly prohibits the United States Congress from making laws "respecting an establishment of religion" or that prohibit the free exercise of religion, laws that infringe the freedom of speech, infringe the freedom of the press, limit the right to peaceably assemble, or limit the right to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Now that statement does not specifically say "Seperation of Church and State," but it does say that no laws can be passed respecting any one specific religion. Despite this amendment, we have continued to deny the basic right of civil union (or marriage, whatever you call it) to GLBT Americans.

There is more evidence supporting that being born gay is more likely than being "turned." See the article regarding scientists study of the fruit fly for more information on this. This puritan mentality has done nothing for how the rest of the world views us except to show how hypocritical we really are.

...And so it begins

This is my 1st blog entry ever!! Do they give you a party for that accomplishment? I really did not see the point in participating in yet another fad that I would eventually give up on. But last night I had a thought (I know, shocking, but it does happen every now and again), and even stranger, I felt like publishing that thought for all to see. Does this make me sick? Should I seek mental help? The answer is yes, but not for this.

Last night as I was dozing, a light went off (no pun, I swear). I do not know why thoughts tend to come out right as I slip into slumberland, but this is often the case. In lieu of just hearing about Circuit City declaring bankruptcy and DHL ceasing to exist in the States, I was thinking about the economic troubles and how it felt real for the 1st time.

All of a sudden I realized that this recession seems bad, but the after effects may also be positive. It is not the end of the world, simply the beginning of a new one. All these companies, like dinosaurs, are struggling with this new changing climate. Most will not make it, and the world as we know it may seem bleak at 1st. But in the aftermath a new civilization can emerge, like the growth after a devastating forest fire.

The economic climate as we knew it, is shifting and dissipating, but is that really bad? As a society I believe we are moving to a more all encompassing world view. We are finally beginning to realize what we do effects the world we live in. This shift of views causes ripples in the very fabric of our existence, how could it not?

Could things keep getting worse? It is true that nothing is certain, and all is unpredictable. We have one thing in our favor that the dinosaurs did not, adaptability. I believe we can adapt and overcome such times as we face now. I think once the fire subsides, we will see that little bit of green emerge from the earth. We will be a glorious forest after all. We just need to weather this storm...